How a healthy self-esteem can transform your life
Do you have this constant feeling that others are better than you? Do you lack confidence in yourself even though you know you have the skills or expertise to do what you need to do? Do you find it difficult to accept compliments and praise? If any of these questions define experiences you’ve had, then there is a high chance you are struggling with self-esteem. A healthy self-esteem can influence your relationships, mental well-being, and overall quality of life.
Other signs of a low self-esteem include:
- Negative self-talk and self-criticism.
- Difficulty expressing your needs
- Constantly putting other people’s needs before yours
- Avoidance of new challenges or opportunities.
- Fear of failure or making mistakes.
- Constant comparison to others.
- Feeling unworthy or inadequate.
- Social withdrawal or isolation.
- Difficulty asserting oneself or setting boundaries.
- Perfectionism or unrealistic standards.
- Chronic feelings of sadness or depression.
What is Self-Esteem and Why is it Important
Self-esteem is your overall estimation (hence esteem) of your personal worth or value. It determines your level of confidence in your abilities and attributes. Many people never realize this until it’s too late, but you are where you are in life to a large extent because of your self-esteem.
Self-esteem begins in childhood where it’s at its lowest. It increases towards adolescence and later in adulthood to reach a relatively stable and enduring level. Other terms often used interchangeably with self-esteem include self-worth, self-regard, and self-respect.
To understand self-esteem, there are five building blocks of self-esteem you need to keep in mind:
- Self-confidence
- Feelings of security
- Identity
- Sense of belonging
- Feelings of competence
Self-esteem dictates how you make decisions, handle relationships, and your emotional, physical, and mental well-being. It also influences your attitude toward life, as people with high self-esteem tend to have a positive view of themselves that inspires them to take on new challenges. Here are the four key characteristics of a healthy self-esteem:
- A firm understanding of one’s skills
- The ability to maintain healthy relationships with others as a result of having a healthy relationship with oneself
- Realistic and appropriate personal expectations
- An understanding of one’s needs and the ability to express those needs
As you have seen above, high self-esteem is what you need to navigate life with ease. However, a very low or excessive self-esteem can also be a problem. A better understanding of your unique level of self-esteem can help you strike a balance that is just right for you.
Those with low self-esteem doubt their abilities and even their decision-making process. They lack the motivation to try new things or step away from their comfort zone because they don’t believe they can achieve their goals. They also have issues with relationships and making their needs known. They may also experience low confidence levels and feel unlovable and unworthy. On the other hand, people with excessive self-esteem may overestimate their skills and feel entitled to succeed, even without the abilities or expertise to do so. They may struggle with relationship issues and block themselves from self-improvement because they view themselves as perfect.
Excessive Self-esteem
People with excessive self-esteem may be confused with narcissists as they share many traits. Narcissistic traits may appear to have high self-esteem, but whether it is high or low, it is increasingly unstable and can shift depending on the given situation. Those with excessive self-esteem:
- May be preoccupied with being perfect
- May focus on always being right
- May believe they cannot fail
- May believe they are more skilled or better than others
- May express grandiose ideas
- May grossly overestimate their skills and abilities
- When self-esteem is too high, it can result in relationship problems, difficulty with social situations, and an inability to accept criticism.
There are many factors that can influence self-esteem. Your self-esteem may be impacted by your age, disability, genetics, Illness, physical abilities, socioeconomic status, and thought patterns. Just like other facets of life, it may be influenced by genetic factors like a person’s personality, but much of it comes from our life experiences. For example, low self-esteem may come from excessive criticism or negative statements from family and friends.
Low self-esteem, if not well managed, may lead to mental health disorders, including anxiety and depressive disorders. This makes it difficult for you to have the drive to accomplish your goals and maintain healthy relationships. Low self-esteem can seriously impact your quality of life and lead to self-harming tendencies like suicidal thoughts.
To learn how to enhance your self-esteem, click here to get enlightened. Always seek professional help from a certified counselor if the symptoms become overwhelming.
